Others insist that inner beauty is what really matters. These people are almost invariably stupid and ugly. Of course there is such a thing as a stupid question. I should know, I answer people’s inane questions for a living. As an independent contractor for a certain “mobile answering service”, I subject my poor, poor grey matter to the intellectual musings of the general population on a near daily basis.
Under normal circumstances, this would probably be more of a non-issue. Lord knows I relish the opportunity to flex my sarcastic chops every now and again. The fact that I have to provide an actual, non-snide response, however, is slowly killing me inside. This, my dear (non-existant) readers, is where this blog comes into play. It provides me with a forum for mercilessly mocking the stupid fucks who constantly drive me to the brink of intellectual suicide, and it gives all of you the chance to point, laugh, and feel superior to other people. Win-win.
I will be posting assorted stupidity throughout the day. Some I will comment on, generally with the sort of answer I would have liked to have sent. This sort of question is usually super-special-stupid, and not one that I tend to see very often.
“Since our pupils reflect off the sky to determine the color, what is the real color of blue eyes?”
This is an example of a super-special-stupid question.
Others are just-plain-stupid, and fall into one of a handful of general topics. They tend to involve: a) relationships, b) sex, and c) excessive textisms and/or just plain atrocious grammar, spelling, and logic. These topics, among a few others, are seen frequently enough that I don’t really care to summon the motivation to craft a witty reply, but they are still quite stupid and I still quite enjoy laughing at them.
In addition to these banes (yes, banes) of my existence, the essentially limitless amusement and catharsis I enjoy from mockery and derision in general compels me to expand the scope of this blog beyond just the aforementioned questions. News headlines, topics linked from other blogs, and pretty much whatever random things I goddamn feel like posting will be featured here for my (and your) judgment.
I encourage all of you (again, non-existant) readers to join me in mocking this mental excrement. Provide your own sharp-tongued responses, or simply share your observation that such-and-such person is stupid and you hope they die. Both such comments are perfectly accurate and wonderfully welcome.
And now, with all that said, I welcome all you barely functional monkeys that allow me to receive a paycheck, and all other people/things that I have personally deemed fit to stand trial, a chance to be judged and sentenced. Ahh, I feel better already!
