“How do I find the height of a quadrilateral triangle?”

Step #1: Locate example of triangle with four sides. Step #2: There isn’t one.

* To be fair, dear Question Asker, I do understand what question you’re actually trying to ask. But I still feel like making fun of the way your dumbass asked it.

 

“Will all the toilet water it a toilet bowl evaporate if not flushed in a very very long time or does it replenish itself without being flushed?”

As far as the first part of your question is concerned… umm, yes, standing water in an open container has a tendency to evaporate over time. The second part of your question has rendered me a bit dumbfounded… obviously toilet water will replenish itself without being flushed. Of course, this is assuming that you, 1) keep your toilet outside, and 2) don’t live in an arid, sub-tropical desert region. Or 3) it occasionally rains in your bathroom.

Flush your goddamn toilet.

 

“Is the German language called German? Or something else?”

Well, technically speaking, the German language is called Deutsch, but I doubt that’s what you’re really asking. If you travel abroad, please make sure to announce that you’re an American. Loudly. To anyone with whom you remotely come into contact.

 

“How do you strain alcohol from hair spray?”

Oh sweet Jesus. You don’t, child. You go to the gas station and flirtaciously approach strangers until you find one skeezy enough to buy you a couple bottles of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill because he gets a tiny ego boost by convincing his constantly-rejected-self that a 17 year old high school student might let him feel her up in the backseat of his ‘91 station wagon in return. Now put on your jammies and go to bed.

 

“Is they’re name for a girl version of the teabag?”

Hmm, now that you mention it, I think there was an article in Cosmo just last month about pleasing your man by standing astride his face and dipping your ovaries into his mouth.

 

“My due date is on July 5 2009 when will my baby be born and what gender will it be?”

What do I look like, a friggin’ gyno? Based on the info you just gave me, how in God’s name do you expect me to predict when you will (unfortunately) squeeze out your spawn? I’ll just take a shot in the dark here… probably somewhere around July 5th of next (shit, this) year.

 

“Who won the 2004 United States Presidential Election?”

… No, but really. Please go die.

 

Scripture for the sexually inept?

Initially, this question seemed rather innocuous.

“Can u give me a scripture out of the bible that will help me thru a hard time”

Then I noticed their previous question, sent about 6 minutes prior to the one I had just received.

“Wats the best thing to do when your eating a girl out”

Ha. Ha ha. That is all.

 

“Can you get poop on your dick from having buttsex with a girl?”

Of course not. You can only get poop on your dick from having buttsex with a guy. Girls don’t poop.

 

“Can a contour memory foam pillow freeze?”

Great question, thanks for asking. I’m guessing that your memory foam pillow, which moulds itself to the shape of your body, is not generally in a completely solid state. I’m not positive, though, so why don’t you go take a nap in that Deepfreeze out in the garage and let me know?